Sometimes its a matter of stepping back.Its taking a moment to breathe.Remembering that you are still here for a reason.Its putting one foot in front of another.Looking at your family and feeling the love.Its all these things that help me keep the panic at bay.In a couple months we will be doing another cancer scan.They will be strapping my head into the brain gear to make sure my brain is still free from cancer,scanning my spine yet again to make sure it is still all clear.I hate that word.The C word has literally almost ruined my life and ended it depending on how you look at it.Instead of springing into the thirties I shrunk into a former shell of myself.People try to figure out how I can joke about it..well sometimes its a matter of joking instead of crying.I look in the mirror and try to figure out the woman standing before me.Who is she?What in the world happened to her?And thats when I step back,I inhale and exhale.And remind myself of what I have overcome from the strength that I do have.I kiss my boys and cuddle with my husband.I grab the little mirror and hold it in front of my face in front of the big mirror and instead of gasping at that horrible scar I am going to show it proudly as a sign of courage,strength ,and bravery.
my badge of strength and bravery...
You are so brave. It takes a strong woman to go through what you have and not give in. What does your scar look like today?
I’ll have to get Jason to take a picture..its looks the same as above just not red and no staples.I’ve had insecurities about it you know and am trying to get over it now.It’s a badge to be proud of not sick over so I’m trying..one day at a time..sigh