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Archive for December, 2007

Pondering life…

Warning if you are depressed you might want to stay away from this post…A distant relative has passed away this week.I just saw her last week.We sat and talked and without warning she just passed away Thursday.The hardest thing for me to grasp is the fact that I just saw her she was fine….and now she is gone.It really makes me really just stop and think about the fact that anything could happen to anyone at anytime.It amazes me at how fragile our lives really are.I barely got the news out to my mom because I was crying so hard over it.Just gone….The thing about her was that most people were scared of her because she came off really grouchy,but she liked me.She would sit and talk to me.When my cousin did my hair and put the highlights in she talked about how nice it looked,with everybody else she gave them grieve for doing it to their hair.I wasn’t close to her,but anytime I was around her I made a point to talk to her and now just like that she is gone.Anybody that knows me will tell you that I have issues with death.I just do.I don’t know how to react or how to handle it.When my great grandma passed away a couple years ago I was in the room holding her hand when she took her last breath.Needless to say I flipped out…..I saw her last breath on earth enter her body and that was it…It still bothers me to think of it.I know you are suppose to think positive about the fact that they are in a better place,but it still doesn’t make it any better.Yes most of them have lived long lives that is alot more than some people ever get.And I know that we have to keep reminding ourselves that some day we will be reunited with our loved ones again until then I guess atleast we have our memories….

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That is if the next test is negative.I was sick again last night.Its more in the evenings now.Sometimes in the mornings if I get up to early.I told Jason if it is negative something is wrong and I do plan on going in for a full physical.I haven’t had a period at all for this month.I could understand this if I was going off the birth control pill but not having an IUD taken out.They compare the IUD to a woman thats not on any birth control.Meaning that once I had it out fertility and everything goes back as if I wasn’t on anything at all.My boobs still hurt really freakin bad…and do you want to know what my husband is obsessed
with??Yep you got it my BOOBS…..I am going to have to start saying an extra prayer hoping for him to leave them alone….Fun times my friends…..After I spent some time hugging what has always been my friend in the past last night I came out of the bathroom and Braidi was rubbing my back saying”mommy you are so sick Braidi make it better”.It was so cute.I’am getting the boys prepared ladies they will one day make great husbands….hehehe Everything that I have had to beat into my husband will come fully installed in them.lol

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I have a mini me…..

Its not a lie when I say that I talk alot.My husband would totally agree.When the kiddos are behaving I can talk on the phone for hours hehehehehehehe….Braidi is my mini me..He talks all the time and I mean all the time.It is so bad that he even talks in his sleep.He tells knock knock jokes,tells on his brother,talks about what it is doing outside,he sings songs,makes up stories etc….It is just so funny having a male version of myself.During Church we have to tell him to be quiet since he talks during prayer.The only thing I can hope for with him is he finds somebody that is a listener because he will talk enough for the both of them.And some people say that motherhood isn’t exhausting,obviously they haven’t had to listen to my three year old all day long.

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A black eye.Yes I am serious you have to watch those sippy cups.Braidi has been battling that nasty cold crap.So we were up and down several times Saturday night.So I just laid him down between Jason and I and got us settled.He started crying so I went to hand him his cup instead of grabbing it I smacked it and it came down from the head board onto my eye.lol only me.So the bottom of my eye is black and blue.Our Christmas went really good.I have been busy trying to clean this house.Oh fun I will try to post some pictures later of the wrapping paper gone wild.It is so funny watching the kids the older they get.In other news I am still really late……….?????I am considering just waiting the rest of this month out.Its not like they are going to do anything if I am.I am all ready on the prenatal vitamins.We will see….to be continued I am off to finish folding the towels….

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I want my mommy..

Wait I guess now that I have been one for some time I don’t get mine anymore.Yep I am being a baby…Braidi is doing better,Tristin is good,and after taking care of hubby all week he is great.Me not so good I feel like I have been ran over by a semi and since he didn’t think he did a good enough job the first time around he backed up and did it again.According to Michelle I sound like a frog or something.Accoring to my Dr I should just quit trying to talk.hahaha like I am giving Jason an early Christmas present.I was going to have a blood pregnancy test done but they were so busy so I didn’t bother.Jason and I get to go finish our shopping for stuff for the stockings etc. tommorrow aren’t we lucky.Oh well time with him alone that will be nice if I get to feeling better I might have to take advantage of him.Wait its not taking advantage of him if he is willing right?Anyways everybody needs to pop over and give Monica at http://hopefulmomma.blogspot.com/ some love her husband is being difficult.
We have a busy weekend ahead so if I don’t post for a few days Have a Merry Christmas.And I will be back ASAP…..

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I’m around…

I’m here just trying to finish up Christmas cards etc.I had to wrap Tristin’s present for his party tommorrow.We made our gingerbread house.Let me tell you how much fun that was (yeah right) we had icing going wild.I found it tracked through the house.We all have the crud…oh joy its so nice not being able to breath through our nose,coughing,sore throat.My dishes still need done and I am working on laundry.And to make matters worse I still don’t know what I am fixing for dinner.I’m begining to think the pizza man sounds God sent.Tristin has his Christmas program at school tommorrow night I can’t wait to see him we have heard his beautiful voice all week since he has been practicing.In other news still no period and no sign of it coming yet…..I would love to be able to tell everybody at Christmas but I think this time was a bust….

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My body lied

It said it was negative.Jason swears it was wrong and thinks I will be retesting again next week.I am still really sick to my stomach,but who knows maybe its just stress.I have mourned the negative if that makes any sense.Upset for a baby that won’t be.We are still being careful for this month and I think we are still planning on trying next month maybe even February.Jasons only concern is adjusting to being on the road more and us adjusting to him being gone.He is worried about what another pregnancy will do to all of us.It know longer effects just us we have two little guys to worry about.My only other chance for this month will be on Sunday.If you remember I had two periods after my IUD came out.So if I am late Sunday I will take one more test for the month.Anyways,I guess its probably back to the drawing board.Thank God I enjoy SEX or this could be tricky…

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