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Posts Tagged ‘misc.’

Just another day….

Yesterday J dropped Braidi and I off at the hospital…when we came off the elevator their he stood.The man that had raised me and I called dad…He looked at me and I looked at him then looked away.I am not going there.Whats done is done.The ties are cut.After he and my mom divorced I wrote a letter forgiving him for the past wanting to prove to be the better person.And we were working on our relationship until I dropped the bomb announcing that I found my real father.How can you explain to someone how empty you have felt.I look like my mom in built but thats it.I needed to know that I fit somewhere that need only increased after having Tristin.So I went looking for my dad and found him.Finally I felt complete.And in doing this relieved the man that raised me.He wasabout stepping aside..crazy huh?But he was thats all the feeling he had for me.It was easier on him than me.I was 2 when he married my mom just a babe.He was the only dad I ever new.But that mattered little to him.He didn’t care about building a bond with me.He took care of me because I was part of the package,but that was it.The older I got the worse it got.He just didn’t care.So yesterday when I saw him it brought it all back..He heard from my sister about my surgery.He sent flowers to ICU and you never get those because you are in ICU.Do you think he ever thought to call afterwards no…does that sound like a man that cared about the girl that he helped raised..no it doesn’t and thats why I looked away..there is nothing to say its over and done with.Those ties are cut.

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Those Ty boys….

Oh my goodness…These boys are crazy…Trisitin is getting his front teeth he is a bear which makes mommy wish she drank beer…Braidi has knocked my spices all over the place,peed on the floor,wrote on the computer chair..so not only do I make life interesting so do these boys…if we are mad at each other why not just knock each other around?the boys really think it works for them…we still need to get santa pictures and get the tree up…oh my…and I have a secret that I will share if I get it worked out…Monica we have snow ready to come babysit???lol

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All I want for Christmas….

Is my two front teeth...

Is my two front teeth...

Yep my baby lost his other tooth.He sounds so funny now when he talks.The tooth fairy has a couple dollars lined up to put under his pillow.Monica I actually had merina up until Nov. when I had it removed to get my body back to normal to possibly try for babe number 3.As it stands girls I think for now I am sticking with the b/c pills.I am on one that works for me and we will see what happens.I just can’t do something so final.Enough things have been taken away lately.Besides that the pill is helping with my cycle.The surgery messed all my hormones up really bad and I am only regular now because of the pills.So for now pills it is.Believe me I am really good at taking pills.You would nnot believe me if I told you all the crap I was on.Lets see b/c,vitamins,pain,muscle relaxer,anxiety,sleep,depression..depression/anxiety me no way..lol..I got to looking at the pamplet anyways for the essure and its coils they put in your body I am not sure how that would react with all the scans I have to get done.The reason I say that is back when I had my IUD I had a scan done and the lady said it could possibly mess with my IUD because of how its made???can’t remember so the longer I sit on this the more I think the pills work so why fix what is working for now??Since the only person really worried about it is the Dr I am just going to wait awhile longer..I take a pill that is effective and we are still careful….thats my thoughts atleast..So thank ya all for the advice and I still say we should get together for the choc. and wine because its been a hell of a year and I am going to turn thirty..Never knew if I would be celebrating this one.So its time for some adult time and a sitter..

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Decision 2008

The news I heard yesterday was actually my second opinion.The first one came from my brain doc.We new it was coming I was just wanting to hear something different.Even a couple years from now the strain would just be to much.They had to dig really deep into my spine and brain to get the tumor out.I will have scans every six months for a really long time.So I guess what it could possibly come down to would be whats more important me and the two healthy boys I have or another pregnancy.All I know is that I am needed so its a chance we cant take.Is it fair?Not really but is life ever.Atleast I had my babies when I did.The procedure I will be having done is called Essure once its done thats it you cant reverse it.I can get it done in the office with barely any pain.I told them I would set the appointment up later because mentally my brain is just fried.I have to prepare for it and I haven’t yet.But like evrything else life goes on.So I guess next year when Braidi starts preschool I will have lots of mommy time.Want to go with me and drown our sorrows in choc. and wine?

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Taken it easy…

Per hubby’s orders after seeing his wifey near tears from the pain last night I am sitting around…Long week my friends.First week of school and Tristin’s party.It went well,but I am just happy to have it over.We are soon adding a new addition to the family.Michelle’s hamster had babies so we are going to bring one home….should be interesting…I am still waiting on the camera software to be installed….hopefully it gets done before our children graduate from College.lol with J you  just never know.So how are you guys spending your weekend?

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Without a hitch….

He did it…We are now on day three.The first day was the hardest thing I have dealt with so far in parenting.Preschool was hard,but kindergarten is worse.Its a mixture of tears and pure terror.I mean my first born is in big kids school.The teacher sent home letters about things you can do to help make your child more independent…I am proud of Tristin for his independence,but part of me honestly wants to pull him back into my chest and never let go…Time goes by to fast.Honestly didn’t I just bring him home from the hospital? Tristin is doing great and loving every minute of school.He found out his girlfriend from last year was a late enrollment so she is in his class after all.Young love resumes.He even invited her to his birthday party.J still hasn’t installed my camera software he has been really busy so once its back on the computer I will overload you with pictures.Braidi is lost w/o his bubby being around to play.It is so adorable seeing him run to the door when he walks in.”Bubby I missed you soooooo much.Can we go play now?”Apparently I am not that fun.Who would have guessed?Anyways that all the non interesting things going on here unless you want to hear me whine about depression,anger,and pain?Didn’t thinks so can’t say I blame you.I am just trying to stay positive no more cancer for now!!Next scan in January who new life would come to this?

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You dont know me…

Why is it that people automatically judge you when they dont know you..Because I cant wearmy wedding rings and still look pretty young I am judged before I even speak…Young unwed mom with two kids..Kids these days are having them younger and younger.For your info Oct. 1 I will be thirty.I have been with the same man for 11 years and have been married 7.5 years.And when you come up on me in the checkout aisle and lecture me about my purse know this…My baby in the cart is #1 priority my wallet was under my arm and the only thing in the purse was my checks and those can be canceled…Its hard to load the cart because my left side is paralyzed so the purse sitting next to the debit machine wasnt a big deal to me..Right now I do it the only way I can,but thanks for the lecture anyways.I am sorry  your sister had her purse stollen that way if they want mine that bad go gor it…Believe me you wont get much..

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